


It's Going to Be Okay

by jadrsy



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Homophobia, Homophobic Slurs, M/M, Night before Rick leaves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadrsy/pseuds/jadrsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last night Rick and Ren spend together in the cave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Going to Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first ITF fic. I've decided to stick to my trend of writing heartbreaking fics, so here ya go! I was thinking a lot about what Rick and Kieren's last night together might have been like, since we only got minimal information on it. Anyway, hope it's okay.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch

Kieren was hyperaware of every sound, of everything around him. The sound of his boots crushing the dead leaves on the floor of the forest seemed deafening compared to the silence of the woods. Kieren slowed as he approached the cave. He looked around, the thin blue plastic bottle he carried in his arms feeling heavy. He saw no signs of the other boy approaching, so he pivoted back around and entered the cave. 

As he entered, he saw a faint light in the back of the cave. He smiled to himself. Rick was there already. 

The blond boy began walking again, moving towards the light.

“Rick?” Kieren whispered.

“Ren! Over here, buddy!” Came the reply.

Kieren’s smile only grew as the other boy got up and jogged towards him, holding a lit cigarette in his hand.

“White Lightning?”

Kieren nodded, holding up the bottle. He knew it was Rick’s favourite.

“Niccee! Well come on in then, Ren.”

Kieren followed Rick towards their favourite part of the cave. Rick had put lit a few candles, but it was still fairly dim in the cave. Kieren sat down on the cold cave floor. His hands were chilled to the bone, shivers waving over him. It was colder than he expected. His teeth chattered involuntarily.

“Cold?” Rick asked.

“H-hah, a little.” He answered.

“Here, take this. I’m not cold.” Rick said as he began stripping off his thick winter jacket.

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it. I’m fine, really.” Kieren insisted. He was almost convincing.

Rick leaned over, wrapping his jacket around the smaller boy’s body. Kieren smiled up at Rick. He saw a sad look pass over the other boy’s face. It was fleeting, but it broke Kieren’s heart just a little bit.

“Thanks, man. Hey, is everything all right?” He looked up at Rick.

“What? Oh, yeah I’m fine. Want one?” He held up a smoke.  
“Yeah, that’d be great.” He leaned over to take it.

He put the cigarette in his mouth, searching his pocket for a lighter.

“Hey, here.” 

Kieren looked up to see Rick holding out lighter. He flicked his thumb and lit Kieren’s cigarette.

“Thanks. Drink?” Kieren asked, holding out the bottle.

Rick accepted it, nodding. He took a big swig and handed it back. Kieren took a smaller amount, knowing he had a far lower tolerance than Rick. They passed it back and forth a few times until they both started feeling the effects. After a bit of silence, Kieren spoke up.

“Hey, you sure everything’s okay?” 

Rick looked up, a little shocked. He wasn’t used to anyone asking that. Kieren was the only one who could really talk to him about how he felt. His dad would have dismissed any of his feelings anyway. He’d think he was weak. It’s not like he could ever talk to his parents about anything anyway. His dad was already suspicious about him and Ren. After he had found the mixtape Ren had given him a couple months ago, he had freaked out. He didn’t know that he was out with Ren tonight. He had told him that he was going to say goodbye to some mates from school. But he couldn’t say goodbye to Ren. He wanted to tell him but he couldn’t. He hadn’t quite faced the fact he’d have to be away from him. From the boy he loved.

Oh yes, he loved him. He loved everything he did. He loved the way Kieren talked and walked and moved his hands. He loved his art. He loved his voice. And most of all, his eyes. The way he looked at him like he was so very important. And this was the last chance he’d have to tell him that.

“I’m okay, really. It’s just, you know, my dad.”

Kieren nodded. understanding. He wanted to help Rick, but he had no idea how. Rick had always been there for him, since first grade. Since Rick had ran up to Kieren as he sat alone in the corner, asking if he wanted to play. And he had been with him all through school, defending Kieren against the taunts of schoolmates. The ones that started with “sissy” and then evolved into “freak” and eventually became “fag”. The ones that would have broken Kieren if it wasn’t for the other boy.

“He said he never wants me to see you again. He knows, Ren, he knows.”

“Rick?” Kieren whispered.

“What?”

“What does he know?” Kieren asked.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the knowledge it would be the last time he saw the boy he loved in a long, long time. Something in Rick broke and everything came out.

“He knows I love you.” Rick dissolved into tears, covering his face. “Ren, I love you so much. Not just as a mate. And I think you know that. But I have to say it. I do.”

Kieren put out his cigarette on the floor of the cave and leaned over, grabbing the other boy’s wrists. He gently pulled them away from Rick’s face, intertwining their fingers.

“Hey.” He whispered. “Me too.”

Rick sobbed harder, though he was smiling a little.

“Don’t worry, Rick. We’ll find a way. We always do. We’re Rick and Ren. Don’t worry. I love you and you love me. What could be bad about that?”

Well, everything, thought Rick.

“Don’t cry, it’ll be okay.” Kieren whispered. He lifted Rick’s chin gently. Knowing it was the right think to do, he brought his lips to meet the other boy’s. At first they were still. Rick’s lips were warm and soft, wet from his tears. They started to move softly, adjusting to each other’s movements. Kieren moved closer. He wrapped his arms around Rick’s shoulder’s, which were shaking slightly. Rick responded by wrapping his arm’s around the other boy’s waist pulling him even closer. And for just a few minutes, everything was perfect. Bill Macy, the army, the self-doubt, the kids from school, every burden that ever existed was lifted from their shoulders. But Rick knew it was only a matter of time before it all crashed down and burned them both.

But right now there was only soft kisses and Kieren’s whispers of it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. And Rick really wanted to believe him. He wanted to be just as optimistic. But Ren didn’t know what was happening tomorrow. That he was leaving.

He didn’t want to think about that right now. All he wanted was Ren. He wanted him closer. He tightened his arms around the other boy, raising one up to push through his hair. Kieren opened his mouth to allow the other’s tongue to push into his mouth. The kiss grew deeper. Kieren shifted his legs so that they rested around Rick’s hips. He pushed his hands up Rick’s back, lifting his shirt a bit. The boy jumped a bit at the icy touch.

“That okay?” Kieren asked.

“Yeah.” Rick responded.  
Kieren lifted his shirt more, pulling it over his head.

“Is this?” He asked again.

“Yes.” Rick smiled, pushing the other boy’s coat off of his shoulders. Kieren shrugged off the coat, smiling back. Then came his sweater. His skin felt very cold to the touch and Rick knew he may have been more chilled than he let on. Wanting to warm him up, he held him even closer. He wanted to feel all of Kieren at once. He wanted this to go on forever. 

Kieren’s lips moved away from his suddenly. He mourned the loss for a second until they returned to his skin, this time on his neck. He shuddered as cool lips traced the sensitive skin. He could feel Ren’s fingers trace down his chest. The boy’s moved lower towards his collar bone, softly sucking his skin. Rick couldn’t help the small moan that escaped his lips. He could feel Kieren smile into his kisses. 

“Ren?”

The boy looked up, smiling.

“I love you.” Rick whispered.

Kieren shifted his position, wrapping his legs tighter around Rick and sliding his arms around his shoulders.

“I love you too. I always have, I always will. I’ll always be yours, Rick. Always. Please don’t let me go.”

Rick’s heart ached, he hated his dad and his mom and the army and every goddamn person condemned him simply for his love for another person just because they happened to be the same gender. He wanted to keep protecting Ren from all the people who hated him for who he was. He wanted to be proud and show everyone his love and live with Ren and be happy. But that would never happen because he was leaving tomorrow. And there was a possibility he would never see Ren again. The army was dangerous. He could die any time. He didn’t even want to think abut that. It wasn’t so much that he was afraid to die, but he was afraid to be that far from his love. To never again see that face he loved so much, to hear that sweet voice.

“I won’t.” He lied.

Kieren smiled, then shivered.

“Cold?” Rick asked.

“A little.”

Rick grabbed his coat off the ground, wrapping it around Kieren’s shoulder’s. He lay down, pulling Kieren with him. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Part of him wanted to go further tonight. It seemed like maybe Kieren had wanted to, but he just couldn’t. Kieren deserved to have someone who would be around for him and Rick couldn’t be that. As much as he desperately wanted to, he would not be around to love Kieren. He would anyway, everyday for the rest of his life. But as much as he wanted Ren to be his, and his only, part of him wanted him to find someone better. So he didn’t want to take any more from him tonight. He had already done too much by admitting his love. So all he did was hold his love close, as if it could stop him from slipping away.

And for a few moments, everything was perfect. Two brand-new lovers tangled in each other’s arms, warm skin pressed against warm skin. Their breath slowly adjusting until they were perfectly synchronized. Their fingers intertwined. Small, peaceful smiles on their lips. It was perfect. They were perfect.

Rick slowly sat up, breaking the peaceful silence. He picked up his discarded sweater and pulled it back on. 

“I guess I should get home. Dad will by angry. You know how it is.” He whispered.

“Oh, yeah. No problem.” 

“Shit, I love you.”

Kieren smiled softly.

“I love you too.”

Rick glimpsed over at the wall, where it said in all capital letters ‘REN + RICK 4 EVER’. They had written that over two years ago. If only it could be true.

“Alright, see you tomorrow then.” Rick smiled back, leaning over to kiss Kieren one more time.

“See you tomorrow.”

And then he was gone.

And Kieren was alone.

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna find me on tumblr it oddlion cool hope you liked this


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